Ainsley with Mac
November 7, 2007
Ainsley with MacOriginally uploaded by martin_a_owens
Ainsley grabbing Mac
November 7, 2007
mac and ainsley
November 7, 2007
An Empty Hand
November 6, 2007
It is a week to the day since we had to put our younger dog, Mac, to sleep. In all ways, it seems impossible that he isn’t here with us. He was 7 and half years young, and we expected many more years with him. That is until we discovered he had an advanced form of liver cancer. It has taken me a week to realize his fate and to understand how sick he was. It will take me much longer to accept it.
It will take a long time for me not to tear up everytime I go to get the morning paper without him by my side, to roam the backyard without him close by, or to take our favorite walks without his leash in my grasp. He was a good dog. He was great at greeting us at the door, coming to us with a mere whistle, and curling up at our feet on Sunday mornings while I read the paper. Since we had Ainsley there was a little less curling up, but he never complained. I think he liked it. One of the moments I miss most is watching him interact with Ainsley. He was fantastic. He was sometimes a jungle gym for her, and at other times a pillow. He accepted his role and loved it.
This past weekend was the first chance to slow down and try to make sense of it all, and to recognize for a fact Mac was put to rest. It was a time to reflect about him and his impact on our family. He has provided us with very good memories and a special times together. The more I think of it, or write it, I have trouble believing it. I recognize it will take time.
Saturday I took Bailey (for all intensive purposes Mac’s older brother) and Ainsley for a walk. The first one without Mac. It was surprisingly easy. No tangled leashes, or tripping which was typical as each of us tried to settle into one forward motion. At the same time, it was a little lonelier, Mac was missing. There was no whining when we would pass other dog’s homes, as there was when Mac was along. Sunday, Brodie, Ainsley, Bailey, and I went to Lake Harriett for what could be the last 55 degree day until Spring. As we hit the Lake’s walking path, my eyes teared up. This is where we would bring Mac for his first walks. It took twice as long to get around the Lake when he was a puppy because first, his stride was short, and second, we were always stopped so people could pet him. As we walked further, other walkers admired our young family and Ainsley’s smile and friendly “hi!” Instead of my usual nod, I was able to wave back, becasuse for the first time sin 7 years I had an empty hand. Rest peacefully little guy.
